If you love meat and want a cultural feast like no other, a Brazilian steakhouse is the ultimate destination. For a set price, diners get access to a never-ending parade of skewered meats roasted over an open flame.
Servers known as gauchos roam the dining room, stopping at tables to carve everything from filet mignon to lamb chops directly onto plates. On top of that, most restaurants feature a salad bar loaded with Brazilian favorites such as rice, beans, and pão de queijo, the iconic cheese bread.
But with so much food on offer, how do you make the most of your experience?
Ben Jones’ Strategic Guide to Steakhouse Dining
Comedian and TikTok creator Ben Jones (@benjonescomedy) shared a tongue-in-cheek “strategy” for conquering a Brazilian steak, and his advice struck a chord with both newbies and seasoned steakhouse fans.
Here are his main tips:
- Arrive early: “It’s not a sprint—it’s a marathon. You want as much time as possible.”
- Skip the bread: “Don’t even look at it. That’s how they trick you into filling up.”
- Use the salad bar wisely: Treat it as a palate cleanser rather than a full plate.
- Be selective with meats: Avoid fillers like chicken and sausages. Focus on prime rib, filet, and other premium cuts.
- Practice safety: Always use the tongs. “Don’t be shoving your fingers up there with the sharp objects.”
- Take breaks: Flip your card to red when you need to pause before the next round.
- End on pineapple: Grilled pineapple not only tastes great but helps with digestion.
Jones even joked about the aftermath, admitting: “The last time I ate at a Brazilian steakhouse, I thought I had stomach cancer for three days. There will be blood.”
Pushback from Other Diners
Not everyone agreed with his “maximize your money’s worth” approach. One commenter argued that the true point of a churrascaria is to experience Brazilian culture and cuisine, not just load up on the most expensive cuts.
They noted that skipping traditional items like pão de queijo (cheese bread) or linguiça sausage misses the heart of the experience. “If you’re worried about the price, maybe it’s not the place for you,” they wrote.
More Tips from Steakhouse Fans
Other diners added their own pro-tips for enjoying the feast:
- Eat pineapple between meats to help with digestion and make room for more.
- Don’t drive yourself: One joked, “Be a passenger prince and nap on the way home.”
- Know your cuts: Learn names like tomahawk or ancho chorizo and ask for them directly—sometimes premium cuts don’t circulate unless requested.
Final Takeaway
Whether you approach it like a competitive eater or as a cultural dining experience, a Brazilian steakhouse is about more than just meat—it’s about the ritual, the flavors, and the fun.
As Jones puts it, “You’re supposed to leave there sweaty as hell. The meat sweats. Enjoy it.”
Have you ever been to a Brazilian steakhouse? Did you go for the culture, the cuts, or the challenge? Share your experience in the comments!
