Chicago, IL — There’s a new dating trend making waves on TikTok and social media circles — it’s called “throning”, and it has nothing to do with royalty. Instead, it refers to dating someone to elevate your social status rather than building an emotional connection.
Unlike trends such as “Shrekking,” where someone dates down hoping for kindness and stability, throning is all about dating up — for the wrong reasons.
“Basically, the date is a throne that is used to elevate the person who is doing the throning,” one TikToker explained. “The scenario focuses solely on social influence or status and not on building a real emotional connection.”
What Is ‘Throning’?
“Throning” refers to using a relationship to gain influence, visibility, or social media clout. The person being “throned” is viewed as a status symbol — a partner who enhances the image of the one doing the throning.
As explained in USA Today, this trend builds on long-standing ideas like “gold digging” or “clout chasing,” but it’s evolved in the social media era.
“People are curating relationships the same way they curate content,” said Amy Chan, a dating coach and author of Unsingle: How to Date Smarter and Create Love That Lasts. “The rise of throning also reflects a growing focus on self-image and external validation.”
The Social Media Factor
In past generations, “dating up” meant finding a partner with financial or professional stability. Today, it’s about followers, likes, and online influence.
Chan explained that the rise of social media has transformed love into a performance.
“People have always sought partners who could elevate their lifestyle or status,” Chan said. “What’s different now is how much we care about how things look online. Social media has turned love into a public performance, where your partner can enhance not just your life but your personal brand.”
TikTok creators warn that if your partner’s behavior changes depending on whether you’re in public or private — or if they’re overly focused on your social status or circle — it could be a sign of throning.
How It Ties Into ‘Hypergamy’ and Status-Based Dating
The conversation around throning overlaps with online debates about hypergamy — the idea of “marrying up” or seeking a partner of higher social or economic standing.
“Throning is when someone positions their partner as a status symbol,” Chan noted. “It’s about dating someone specifically because they elevate your image.”
However, unlike traditional hypergamy, which is often about long-term security, throning is short-term and appearance-driven, tied to how a relationship looks online.
According to a 2023 Pew Research Center report, egalitarian marriages — where both partners contribute roughly half of the household income — are actually on the rise, suggesting that while the internet debates status, real relationships are trending toward equality.
Signs Someone Might Be ‘Throning’ You
Experts say that while not everyone pursuing success or prestige in dating is a “throner,” there are red flags to look out for:
- They seem more interested in your social network than your personality.
- They treat you differently in private vs. public.
- Their compliments focus on appearance, status, or influence.
- They often post about the relationship to boost their image.
- Conversations center around clout, recognition, or validation.
What You Can Do About It
If this trend makes you uneasy, experts recommend open and honest communication.
“Anxiety about someone’s intentions won’t be solved by overanalyzing or playing games,” Chan said. “Ask questions, share how you feel, and pay attention to how they respond. Emotional safety can’t exist without honesty.”
For those who recognize “throning” behavior in themselves, Chan advises self-reflection:
“Ask yourself what you truly value and whether your behavior reflects the kind of person and partner you want to be,” she said. “If it doesn’t, change course.”
The Bigger Picture
From “throning” to “Shrekking” to “ZIP coding,” Gen Z’s dating trends are revealing how technology and social media are reshaping the search for connection. While it’s easy to get caught up in the optics of love, experts say authentic relationships still come down to trust, respect, and emotional honesty.
What do you think about the trend of “throning” — and how social media affects modern dating? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
